In a shocking show of irresponsibility, Dongerhead Sweetness became impregnated while still (yes, still) unmarried. Rather than raise her bastard child alone, she has ordered a groom over the online auction house, E-bay. The man-toy is considered to be her desperate, last stitch effort to escape certain old-maiditude. While the “groom” has yet to arrive from his 4th world nation home, predictions indicate he may have elephantitis of the penis and conveniently (for him) of the hand. When asked to comment on this rumored medical dilemma, Ms. Sweetness wistfully retorted, “well, after the kiddo plops out I’ll be stretched like a newly slaughtered hog, so I don’t care none!”.The father of the expected child could not be located or even identified by the 30 something mother to be. In fact, she said that most of her [partners] had either been kicked in the nuts by horses or chemically castrated by the state. “That’s how come I don’t never git pregers,” she continued to explain that you can get a good list of men that were “nipped by the government” and released in your area. She added, “must be God got me pregers”. Story by Gaybola Sweetness